Road Trip
by feedthecat
Summary: Barney and Robin don't exactly know each other, but there's one thing they do know: they HATE each other. So what happens then, when they were forced to go on a road trip together? (Alternate universe setting.)
1. Chapter 1

"Hey! Stop doing that. You'll get sand all over the place." Barney pointed at Robin and then lowered his index finger to the floor, his brow furrowing as she brushed sand off the sole of her boot.

"No, I won't." She called out grumpily as she repeated the gesture once again with much more force this time. She was sitting on the couch in the caravan, flustered after a brief walk outside with the idiot of a man called Barney Stinson. _Seriously. Who wears suits on a walk when it's practically scathing outside? _She kept her thoughts to herself as she fanned herself impatiently with a folded up flyer she had found on the kitchen table when she had gotten back inside. "You do know that you're really annoying me merely by existing, don't you?"

Here was the deal. Marshall and Lily had set them up, hoping they would at least be friends by the end of the road trip, which would include a ride in a caravan from New York City to Toronto and back. Because they had been so desperate, they had pre-paid for everything, making sure they would go, as it would be a great waste of money not to. When Robin had heard about the trip, she had been excited, thinking it would be with her best friend. Her bliss lasted a total of about seven minutes, right until the moment Lily mentioned she would not be going, but instead, Barney would.

Barney Stinson, professional womaniser who was pretty much born to degrade female kind. Barney Stinson, person who never failed to report stories on his sexual encounters every time they hung out. Barney Stinson, co-operate dude with an intent dislike towards Canada, her birthplace, her country. Barney Stinson with his stupid use of catchphrases which just happened to be a huge turn-off for a girl like her. Barney Stinson with his immaturity and keenness on laser tag, high-fives and naming his ties.

To her, Barney Stinson, in general, was just a big _ugh_.

It was a five day trip that was meant to be fun and somewhat educational, but while it had only been a few hours since they had set off, Robin felt as though one more second spent with Barney would result in her surrendering to his stupidity by setting herself on fire.

"Thanks for your input. But really, I don't think that's news," he replied smoothly, rolling his eyes as he brushed dust off his shoulders while making himself a coffee.

It was her turn to retort, and she did. Not sparing a nanosecond, she jutted her chin out in his direction and gave him a fake smile, one that was sickly sweet. "I was just saying, in case you forgot. You know how _forgetful _you are."

"Yeah, but you never really forget what the devil says." He chuckled to himself as he stirred his beverage in smugness, knowing he had managed to tick her off again.

Silence. Then a deep exhale from Robin.

"Look. Lily had obviously put together this road trip so it'd be fun. I'm not saying you're growing on me right now, and I'm not saying you're not the ruler of all evil. All I'm saying is that I'm going to tolerate you and try to make the most of this trip. And I hope you'd do the same and stop being annoying all the damn time. That honestly is all I'm asking." She sighed again as she gave in to their arguments, her shoulders sinking a fraction.

"Wow. Great speech there. How many weeks did it take for you to prepare that entire thing?" He snorted, showing no signs of cooperation as he sipped on his coffee slowly, the fresh smell filling the caravan.

"I'm serious. We've got another five days and I'm not enjoying it any more than you are, and I won't, unless you stop being a self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic son of a-"

"Alright! I get it. You didn't need to drag my mum into this." He interrupted and looked at her directly in the eye, causing her to flinch, but only ever so slightly.

"So, I was saying..." She began but trailed off, leaving her gesturing at the emptiness in the air as she tried to figure out how to continue her sentence without sounding like she was intimidated by him. Because she wasn't. And even if she was, she could not have him know that.

"That we try to get along." He filled in helpfully, and she nodded, agreeing with him for possibly the first time in her life.

"Exactly what I'm saying."

"But I'm still a self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic and just terrible person?"

"What?"

"That's what you called me just now."

"Oh..." She frowned, staring at her hands as she fidgeted, then back at him. "Yes, you still are. But maybe cut out the 'arrogant' part now that we've finally come to an agreement. For the first time."

"Thanks. And in return, I can reassure you that you are just as bad. If not, twice. But minus the 'arrogant' part too."

"I doubt you passed your Math exams because everyone knows you can't 'twice' infinity. You'd just end up with infinity again." She replied almost instinctively, and added her next word for extra effect. "Idiot."

"I'm surprised you'd know this, honestly. I'm surprised they teach Math in Canada at all. I mean, it's _Canada. _You guys only talk about maple syrup, with the occasional lesson on drawing the Canadian flag because you can't even-" Barney stopped himself before a troubled look on his face appeared out of nowhere, taking Robin by surprise. When he spoke next, she detected a hint of genuine regret in his voice. "Sorry. I wasn't even thinking... This definitely does not sound like we're trying to get along."

"Hey," she started, her tone surprisingly gentle; a tone she never used with him, and it took him by surprise as well. "I guess we're trying. You know it takes time."

And with that, she shrugged casually as if trying to shrug off the side of her personality she had just revealed. He did the same, ending the conversation on good terms for once, with neither of them wanting to fill an empty pillowcase with a ton of bricks and just beat the other one to a near death situation. It was as if they had quietly come to an agreement that while they would try to enjoy themselves and be cooperative, they were also allowed to continue sassing each other at every given opportunity as long as they formulate a witty comeback. After all, both of them were simply defensive people who never liked backing down and knowing they were second best. They were protective of their egos and often just felt more vulnerable than they let on, and they decided they were fine with lowering their defense for the next five days.

Who cares if their niceness would have to be feigned? They only had to act like they liked each other for the next hundred and twenty hours or so, and they would be back to their old routine the second their feet came in contact with American soil. Sacrifices would have to be made during these hours, but for the two of them, it seemed good enough. They were grown-ups, for God's sake. They could do it. It was not rocket science and they could make it work.

Or that was what they thought anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Robin was sitting on the couch again, this time flicking through a magazine and enjoying the cool air from the fan. She was not paying particular attention to the scenery outside as they flashed by, just entirely absorbed in, for the time being, reading her horoscope for the year.

After much effort and a chain of small arguments they were glad to have eventually resolved, they had made a decision on the driving roster. She would drive in the mornings from nine to noon, they would take a break and stop for lunch or gas if necessary. Barney would then take over from then on until four in the afternoon, before she continued from four to six. Dinner, showers and some free time, then he would get behind the wheels again from eight to ten, and they would call it a day. They knew more arguments were bound to break out during that time span, so they have decided that whoever was driving at that time also got to choose the music, simply because they were driving.

Right now, it was two in the afternoon and Barney was driving.

Peering into the rear-view mirror, he let out a snort that caused her to look up from her read, her finger still in the middle of flipping the page, situated awkwardly in mid-air.

"What?" Robin suddenly felt defensive as she clutched her magazine tightly.

"You brought _magazines_?" He called out in a tone she did not quite manage to make out.

"Yes. And so what?"

Their eyes locked for a brief moment and Barney wondered if that snort he let out earlier on was necessary at all, before deciding that, no, it was not necessary at all.

"Nothing," he replied in a small voice as he diverted his eyes back to the road.

Robin stared at the back of his head and let her eyes linger for a moment before she returned to her magazine, finally loosening her grip when she realised her tight grip had unintentionally caused slight creases on the side of the pages.

* * *

Half an hour later, Robin felt a jolt as the caravan came to an abrupt stop. She held onto the side of the couch with one hand for balance and peeped out from behind her novel, raising a questioning eyebrow at Barney, wondering why they have stopped moving. Before she had a chance to blurt out what she was thinking, she was interrupted by the sound of his thoughts.

"I just thought... It's kind of cool out there," he explained as he looked out into the daylight, his eyes squinting from the Sun. Her gaze followed his closely, and the second she looked outside, she had to stop herself from producing what would possibly be the loudest gasp. It was beautiful. Sunlight was streaking into the caravan, and she immediately got up to gather the rest of the curtains, shoving them aside so she could enjoy the full view of the beach with people scattered all over the sand, screaming, laughing, happy.

For a moment, Robin felt her throat tighten and she was unable to say anything, just letting out a barely audible squeak as she was mesmerised by the landscape. When she had finally found her words, all she managed was a simple 'wow'. And though she spoke so little, he understood. He himself was staring intently outside the window as he soaked up the warmth soaking in, content and wishing that moment would somehow last forever.

Robin sighed, tearing her gaze from the window to face Barney, who was still staring straight ahead at the joyous scene. "It's too bad we don't have time for this. It looks awesome."

"Yeah. That would be nice. So... Moving on." He faced the front again and stepped on acceleration, and she could not help but feel a tinge of sadness as they drove off without so much as a second wave of goodbye. Feeling sentimental for some unexplainable reason, she cursed herself as she tried to blink back a small tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. She did so quickly, not wanting to let Barney witness it.

In all honesty, she still was not entirely comfortable with him, and it was within reason. Why? First off, they had met via three mutual friends - Ted, Lily and Marshall - a mere half a year ago. Needless to say, they had not been enjoying each other's company very much in that time. Whenever they were placed within a five meter radius, Robin's inner douchebag radar would beep urgently, causing her to think of some lame excuse to get away immediately. And whenever they were forced to communicate, something bad _always _happened, be it an argument or just the unpleasant atmosphere in general.

Because of that, the three of them had been extremely frustrated about the unresolved conflict that had seemed to arise from nothing between the two. Tactics to get them to be friends came and go, and plans made were often proven to be of no use. Every time they were on the brink of an argument, the only thing effective would be the look Lily shot Robin - a look that mothers gave their misbehaving child, causing her to give in and quieten down. And every time Barney was about to begin one of his stupid speeches meant to poke fun at Robin, Ted would give him the same look, with an extra bonus being a kick from Marshall from under the table, shutting Barney up completely. They had kept things under control then, and were getting along just a tiny bit better than they had ever been, until they had been sent packing into the caravan with no one but each other.

And secondly, it was because they were only a few hours into this trip. As much as she had hoped Lily would jump out from the couch out of the blue, holding a cake and yelling 'surprise!' so the tension could be broken and she would have someone to chat with again, she knew it was not happening. She was all on her own, with Barney Stinson, and nothing could be done about that.

"Do you have any songs? It's really quiet in here." Robin called out, her nose buried in her book once again. _Uncomfortably quiet._ She knew it was not that she really wanted to listen to music, but just more of having something to fill the awkward silence. It took a while, but it seemed like Barney registered her intention and slipped a CD into the music player, swiftly pressing play. As music filled the room, she felt her shoulders relax.

_Maybe it isn't that bad, _she thought as she stole a glance at his direction, before quickly looking away as their eyes met for a second when he looked into the rear view mirror. _And maybe I've been wrong about him being a bad person, like I am about many things._


	3. Chapter 3

We're pretty much a team now," Robin thought aloud that evening as they stood near the cupboards. She smiled at Barney, who was putting two poptarts into the microwave. It was weird to be smiling at him out of genuine kindness, but she thought she liked how it felt. As surprising as this may sound, he was actually the person who had brought the poptarts along, contrary to the popular belief which was the fact that girls always brought snacks to roadtrips. He had brought them along, thinking that while the two of them would never be able to learn to get along, a good poptart could always fix the hurt emotions when they were on bad terms. But he had never got the chance to test out his prediction, as of right there and then, they were getting along just fine. Better then expected, even. And he was not complaining.

"Yeah, it's not so bad, is it?" He smiled back. For a moment, she felt her heart miss a beat for a reason she could not quite explain. He turned around to toggle with the microwave settings, his face lacking an expression she could interpret. She brushed off her feelings without a second thought and they waited in lingering silence for another moment as the microwave took its time, neither of them knowing what to say to fill the empty space.

"So... What else have you brought that might surprise me? Notice I'm saying 'surprise', not 'shock'. So don't open your mouth if it's going to be anything shocking." She blurted out awkwardly, relieved to have broken the increasingly uncomfortable silence, at the same time hoping she had not just unintentionally embarrassed herself - something she seemed to do a lot.

"A two-piece swimsuit in pink," he declared confidently, turning around to face her again. His eyes was filled with hints of mischief.

"_No way_," she breathed, glancing at him with genuine surprise as she registered the information. Honestly, the thought of him in a pink swim suit made her squirm. But to say the least, she could tolerate that. Actually... It could even be interesting. "Can I see you in it?"

"What?"

"The swim-suit - you've _got _to show me how you look in those bad boys," she responded naturally as she broke into peals of laughter. "So?"

"No! That's not real. I was joking," he explained, taken aback by how little it took for her to believe him. He had always thought of her as someone nobody could understand, her mind cryptic and filled with trust issues, and somehow the discovery of her childlike ability to trust made him realise that people were not always as he made them out to be. He supposed it was nice learning this side of her, the side of her he'd never thought he would get in touch with, ever.

He could see the obvious disappointment on her face as she nodded gingerly, looking somewhat sullen. She mumbled 'oh' quietly, more to herself than as an acknowledgement towards his response.

"I mean I could always buy one of those things if you'd like to witness me in it. It's a one in a lifetime experience after all." He shrugged, and immediately felt weird having suggested that. Why was he so keen to see her face perk up again? And what if she said, '_Yes, Barney, I'd like to see it. If I don't, I'll be rolling in my grave unable to rest in peace in a hundred years' time'_? He did not exactly feel like prancing around in a pink two-piece swim suit in his lifetime. The microwave beeped, interrupting his thoughts and he turned away from her once again, this time to retrieve the poptarts.

"Yeah. I think they've got plenty in Canada, and we'll be there soon."

"_Canada,_" he hissed, spitting out the word in disgust as he had always done as if it were some sort of bitter beverage. "The sucky brother of the United States." He handed her a poptart.

"Actually, _no_. Canada is more of the... How do I put this without hurting your feelings? Oh wait, I can say this however I want, because I don't actually care for your feelings." She paused for breath and tilted her head suggestively. "Canada is more like the super awesome brother of the US with less violence and more caramel lattes with extra whipped cream topped with maple syrup."

Barney pondered her words for a moment as if taking them into consideration, and then scrunched up his face in exhaustion to disagree. "Nah."

"Nah? Is that all you've got? Are you even trying anymore with these comebacks?" She questioned, smirking.

"Nah," he repeated simply, flashing a grin. "Canada and awesome just don't mix, you know? Never did, doesn't now and never will. Makes my ears hurt."

"Oh, well? Canada's..." she trailed off, running out of comebacks and eager to just string a bunch of words to throw in his general direction, purely for the hell of it. "Just... Shut your face and eat that damn poptart before it gets all disgusting and soggy and cold, _like your heart_."

_Nailed it._

They munched in silence once again, this time feeling content with how their exchange had turned out. Sassy, not too offensive and nothing taken personally. Their relationship had definitely taken its toll since that morning when all filled the caravan was silence, with the occasional grunt of reluctant agreement, as if agreeing with each other was the worst thing in the world. Man, they supposed they could even call themselves _friends_ now. No, that would not be too far-fetched.


	4. Chapter 4

Later that night, Robin was sat on the edge of her bed brushing her hair when she received a call from Lily, who had obviously called to check in on how her plan was going. And it was only when her name had appeared on her caller ID that Robin thought she might be a bit homesick, having identified her best friend as home after a solid few years of friendship.

"Lily!" Robin almost cried out when she picked up, feeling like she had a million things to tell her. "I've missed you!"

"Aww, I've missed you too," Lily crooned with a softness to her tone, before adding, "and screw you for making me lose twenty bucks."

Robin knew her best friend well, and immediately, she guessed that she had placed a bet on her life, whatever aspect that had her and Marshall taken interest in.

"_No way. _You've made a bet with Marshall again? Already?" She couldn't help but whine. "What is it this time? And how have I _already_ made you lose twenty bucks? We've barely spoken for a minute!" She blurted out, happy to catch up with her best friend and even happier to know that nothing had changed between the two of them. Sure, it had only been a day. But in that entire time, she had pretty much kept her thoughts to herself. She desperately needed a buddy for chitchats, but reckoned she was not familiar with Barney enough to be discussing feelings or random thoughts that occasionally popped into her head. So when Lily called, she felt a rush of relief and just knew that they would not hang up in the next thirty minutes. It would not be a long and girly talk, but given the fact that she was never really the touchy-feely type anyway, it certainly did say something. It was Lily after all, and Lily made her feel most at ease when she felt alone.

"I told Marshall that as soon as you picked up, you'd yell down the line and have a rant on how Barney is a bastard and forget to say hi to me, but he told me that wouldn't happen, so we just decided to take bets on it like we always do," Lily explained, and Robin could picture her waving an arm in the air for emphasis.

"Aw man, should we do this over again?" Robin pretended to moan about it, a smile creeping on her face.

"Nah, it's fine. I'll let him have it easy this time," Lily replied, dismissing the conversation topic and looking for a new one. It was evident she had called to talk about her road trip. The talk on betting had merely been a sidetrack. "So what's up with you? Why aren't you complaining about Barney?" Before she let her respond, she added, "be honest."

_Like I wasn't going to be_, Robin thought.

"I-"

"Ooh, did he piss you off terribly? Or... Say, did he make that Canada joke he told me he was going to make?"

Robin pulled a face, confused. Lily rambled on.

"No. I know, I know! He made yet another sexist joke and you couldn't take it anymore, so you kicked him in the nuts. Brilliant move. Please tell me that happened, because now, _that _would be a story."

"Actually, Lil-"

"He made a sexist joke and you punched him in the face instead? Not as good a story, but I can live with that. Fill me in with all the details, though."

"No," Robin laughed. It was pretty hilarious to hear her best friend getting all worked up and excited over absolutely nothing. "He was fine."

There were moments of silence on the line and she heard a few rustles. She realised Lily had just put her on speaker mode.

"Am I on speaker?"

"You weren't until Marshall decided he needed to be part of this conversation too, which was..." She paused. "...As of twelve seconds ago."

"Oh, hey!"

"Just ignore me," Marshall stated simply, his voice calm. "I'm only here to listen to all the details of how you kicked Barney in the nuts and not really here to talk. That's Lily's job - to panic and freak out. So just carry on like I'm not even here."

"Mhm," Robin nodded to herself and lied down on her stomach, her elbows bent and her chin rested on her palm as she kicked her flip flops off. She didn't mind the fact that her supposedly sort of girly phone call had just turned into a conference call with her best friend and her husband as they both waited eagerly for her to conjure tales of how Barney had pissed her off.

"So," Lily chimed in. "He's _fine_? Just that? Not... Disgusting? Annoying? Repulsive? Emetic? Just overall unbearable? But... _Fine_? That's a really shitty adjective and you're doing a really bad job at storytelling."

"Yeah, I guess." Robin was playing with her hair subconsciously, twirling a strand around her finger.

"You're joking."

"No, I'm not. He really is just that. Fine. Annoying sometimes, but mostly just fine." She repeated, racking her brains for details. "He _did _make fun of Canada once, but I've accepted the fact that his poor soul will never get over making stupid jokes like that, so now I'm onto tolerating them. No big fights here."

"Insulting him - now that's more like the Robin I know. Tell me how he's pissed you off like six times today."

"I would, if he had..." Robin paused. "We shared a _poptart_ today. Can you imagine it? Well, not like we actually shared it by nibbling on one together. We each had one. Still, that's so weird... But kind of nice that we're not fighting, you know? It's exhausting to always be churning out witty comebacks in under three seconds. Sometimes I only formulate the best retort, like, three days after the argument. And that's just a shame."

"Damn it," Marshall and Lily mumbled into the phone in unison, neither quite listening.

"What?"

"It's just that we paid for a five day trip thinking you guys would need at least three to four days to cool off, hop off your high horses and even start talking to each other, you know? If we had guessed you'd be sharing poptarts and hitting it off within twenty four hours we could just have locked the two of you in the same room. Now _that's_ a shame."

"We're _not_ hitting it off! We're nowhere near it and I'm glad we aren't."

"Fair enough. But I expect that on the third day you'll be calling to tell me you've hooked up with Barney. Day Four at the latest."

"_Lily!_"

"I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, baby girl." Lily replied, imitating the voice of what she would call a wise guru.

"Lily!" Robin said again. "That's just... _Ugh_. And it's definitely not happening."

"Who knows? I shall be the judge of that in like, a hundred hours."

They spent another ten minutes on the phone after Marshall bid her goodbye and Lily turned off speaker mode. They both talked a little bit about their day, Robin strangely eager to know even the tiniest details before finally ending the call. Feeling bittersweet as she locked her phone, Robin exhaled loudly, turning over to lie on her back. She spread her limbs and simply looked up, staring at the ceiling of the caravan as she dived into deep thought.

_Yeah. Lily was always right with her predictions, simply because she knew everyone that well. But could she really be right about her hooking up with Barney in a few days' time? They've merely had a chat or two without wanting to cage-fight each other to death. It was a definite accomplishment, but that did not mean they were going to hook up. It was ridiculous to even think about. She could not even foresee that happening herself ever, so why the hell would her gal pal be so confident about it?_


	5. Chapter 5

Robin strolled towards the mini fridge, a strong and unwavering smell of rosewater following closely behind her. She failed to notice Barney, who was perched on the couch with his hands full from his bowl of cereal, munching away. He watched as she fumbled through the contents of the fridge aimlessly, and smiled to himself while she gently shoved a bar of butter to one side.

_Probably wondering why the hell we have butter in this damn caravan when we don't even have bread to begin with, _he thought. He cleared his throat; a noise that made her jump.

"If you're looking for the milk, it's over there." He offered helpfully, gesturing at the carton of milk sitting on the counter.

"Thanks." She called out gingerly. She seemed pleased as she closed the refrigerator door, scooping out a mug from the top cabinet and rinsing it once with tap water before clumsily pouring herself a cup of milk. She made her way towards the couch to join him, partially because there was nowhere else to sit and she did not feel like locking herself back in her room, staring at the same old boring walls that just seemed to cave in on her.

She let out a loud exhale, and he turned around, staring at her.

"What was that?"

She returned the gaze and raised up her mug.

"Milk?"

"No, I meant..."

"What _did_ you mean?"

"You just sighed."

"That wasn't directed at you," she snapped. _A bit too harsh for seven in the morning, _she thought as she immediately regretted using her brash tone of voice.

Silence.

"So it was directed at yourself."

"It wasn't directed at _anyone_."

More silence.

"Fine."

"Okay."

It was a relatively short exchange, and a day ago, the two would have been happy to have avoided that potential argument. However, now that they thought they could themselves acquaintances, they just seemed more keen to piss each other off. Somehow these short and snappy sentences just didn't seem enough anymore.

Wondering where all that sass from yesterday went and half hoping Robin was wondering the same thing, Barney kept quiet and continued munching.

"So... We're almost here." She commented, breaking the silence, much to his relief.

"Actually, we would have been there if you had not insisted on stopping halfway."

As soon as the words have left his lips, he felt her heavy gaze on him, her wondering if that was meant to be a lighthearted remark, all in good humour.

It took a while, but in the end, she went with the belief that it was just some lame banter meant to tick her off for five minutes or so, with no particularly bad intentions. It was Barney, after all. The Barney who had insulted her ever since they had first met. It was Barney, and as far as she knew, people didn't change overnight. She had been drowning in his stupid commentary for so long now; surely she could handle a few sarcastic remarks today. Besides, they were on good terms, weren't they? They had gotten to know each other better over the course of yesterday, and despite his snotty replies, she knew he never had truly bad intentions.

It was his 'thing', and she didn't take long to figure it out. Hell, if only she had been paying_ a teeny bit _more attention to how he had been acting the entire time they were hating each other, she would have figured it out straight away. This 'I'm awesome, I'm better than you, I'm always super cool and you're a hundred percent lame' exterior was just something he had built up. It was just an act to hide the poptart-sharing, music-appreciating and generally quite vulnerable Barney he really was, and truth to be told, she didn't mind. To her, watching him try this hard to impress the world was sort of... Comical.

"Shut up. It was a mutual decision." She shot back, the edge of her lips curling upwards, a wry smile ready to bloom.

"No, _you _made me stop."

"Yeah, like _you_ weren't the one begging me to pull over because you wanted to upload that picture of the sunset on Instagram."

"Gee, why do you keep talking about that? It was ONE time!"

"You have 53 pictures of sunsets on your profile... I'm pretty sure it wasn't just this _one_ time." She smirked, starting to enjoy the exchange. And she could tell he was, too.

"Quit stalking me!" He blurted out, rolling his eyes.

"Quit showing up all over my freaking NewsFeed!" She quipped, imitating his rolling of eyes.

They left the conversation hanging, the two quieting down before Barney placed his empty bowl on the table, rinsing his mouth with a glass of water that had been sitting patiently on the same table the entire time.

"You know," he spoke when he had swallowed the gulp of water. "You're not as bitchy as I thought you would be. Quite nice, even."

She laughed. "Was that supposed to be a compliment? Because if it was... I don't think I caught it."

"It was, but that's fine. I've always known you weren't very bright."

"_Ugh_. Shut it. You're the one that's not exactly bright. You posted a photo last night of the sunset with the caption 'the sun setting in the_ East'._"

"And...?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We all know the sun sets in the _west_!" She yelped, setting down her empty mug on the table with a clank.

He didn't seem particularly bothered. "Whatever. It's your turn to drive and I'll be back here chilling if you need me."

"I won't."

"Good. I was just going to remind you that I actually wasn't planning to help even if you needed me."

"_Shut up_."

"Why do you always tell me to shut up anyway?" He fired, clearly amused.

"Why do you always give me a reason to tell you to shut up?" She shot back.

"Why do you always make it sound like it's my fault?"

"_Why do you always-_" She gave in and stood up, tugging at her blouse. "Just shut up, okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Pause! Halt! Stop!" Barney's cries were ignored as Robin continued zipping down the road with no intention to do any of the above he had just mentioned. "Seriously! Stop! Stop this moving vehicle _right now_!" He tried again, his voice growing with impatience.

Sighing, he clambered up near the driver's seat and continued yelling commands that did not make sense.

"STOP!"

"What? Why?" She cried out, panicky. "What's going on? Barney, what is going on?"

"_Just stop it! _Now!"

She stepped on the brakes hard and Barney hit his head on the ceiling in his half-standing position.

"_Ow_."

"You told me to stop like there was a crying baby dying in a fire in the back of this caravan and the only way to save the day was by, well, stopping." She shot back, slightly calmer now upon realising that there was, in fact, no crying baby or fires or crying babies dying in the fires.

"That's because..." He exhaled, and turned to the right, looking out of the window. "It's freaking amazing out there."

He paused, allowing her to have a look for things herself, and she did.

She did not know what to expect, to be honest. After those five minutes spent staring open-mouthed at the glorious beach yesterday, she just did not think there could be anything more majestic than that.

But as she looked out into the open, she was struck yet again by how amazing the view in front of her was. Sure, there was no beach this time. No screaming infants and couples applying sunscreen onto each other's backs. But in its place was a beautiful blue sky, so blue she swear it could have been a page ripped out from a children's storybook, sort of like the ones with the comical puffy white clouds. _Especially _the ones with the comical puffy white clouds. They were hanging in the sky, fluffy and inviting.

"There isn't anything to see," she said, wrinkling her nose, feigning a lack of admiration.

Okay, she _was_ impressed. But it was not like she was going to show it. Her ego was a terribly hungry creature that needed feeding now and then, and its main diet happened to be Barney Stinson's own ego. Like she thought, she was problematic.

"Um, the blue sky? The puffy clouds that kind of just look like you can lie on them forever?" He replied, not backing down. She detected a tinge of annoyance in his voice. Not like she could blame him, she thought.

"Actually, if you studied science, you'd realise that you cannot lie on clouds because they're not... They're not solid, you know? They seem fluffy, but they're not something you can just lie on. They're not like your couch or this seat."

That seemed to tick him off remotely.

"I _know_! I was just saying."

"Yeah, okay. Shall we move on?" She replied, giving a shrug as she placed a hand on the steering wheel once again, ready to take off.

"Fine."

His voice was reluctant.

"Fine."

Her voice was not.


	7. Chapter 7

The rest of the day droned on like any other, and by the end of the evening, Barney was glad to welcome a moment of solitude as he treated back to his room. He had just taken a shower, and as his body sank into the fresh linen sheets, he felt like he was in some sort of paradise. Had anybody told him beds in caravans were this comfortable, he would have given up his apartment for a simple van like this one.

The day was not exactly pleasant, and there was not much exchange between the two. Sure, there were responses coming from both sides, but they were blunt and barely matched up to the vibrant small talk they have had the day before. They had their usual minor sass tournaments, and while he didn't pay attention to those as they had become part of their trip routine, there was one argument which just happened to be a bit more than just 'minor'.

They were bickering as usual, and Barney had brought up something about Robin's dad depriving her of her needs in adolescence as a joke, but somehow that had really seemed to tick her off. The little comment had been picked up by her, who had blatantly misunderstood, and squished up into a ball, which was later thrown back into his face in the form of a bunch of truly hostile remarks - remarks he had not been expecting, and remarks so cold he was not sure any human being was even capable of producing. That had then turned into an actual fight, with no amusement or teasing involved.

Barney had tried to explain his intention, but in the heat of the fight, she had not listened, but instead stormed off into her room, where she stayed in there for most of the day until it was her turn to drive. The exchanges then were minimal, and the two seemed extremely unhappy for the rest of the day.

It was night, and they had cooled down by now, but that still bothered him. He did not know what seemed to be the cause of that and he did not know how she was feeling about the incident at the very moment - if she was thinking about it like he was - but he made a mental note to find out the next day, or as soon as possible. He just did not like bing in uncomfortably hostile situations where the tension seemed to go so strong.

He liked banter; he liked fun and nonsensical input. He liked chatting and snogging and drinking scotch. He liked making people laugh; he liked lame catchphrases and people appreciating them. He liked feeling satisfied after an eventful night of all the things combined. And he had felt no satisfaction today.

He laid on his bed, troubled.

_Do I apologise? But what do I apologise for? Was it even my fault? I made a lighthearted comment and she verbally exploded into my face like that. Shouldn't she be the one apologising?_

He tried to wave his thoughts away with a shake of his head, deciding that his main goal now was to try and enjoy a good night's sleep. And he would have succeeded, if not for a strange phenomenon. Somehow, Ted's words floated to the top of his head. There were echoes in his mind, and the more he tried to suppress them, the louder they got.

They had had a chat in the bar the day before he set off with Robin, and his best friend had reminded him again and again of how to communicate with his soon-to-be traveling companion, insisting on the fact that harmony was important if they were going to survive for the next five days.

Ted had briefed him through all the things he should avoid saying, and he mentioned nothing about making jokes regarding her father and her early teenage years. Being longwinded as he normally was, Ted had also said lots about anything and everything, claiming he knew Robin best. But somehow a phrase stuck to him especially.

'Barney, I know you're big on the 'legendary' thing,' he had said as he predicted a fight between the two. 'The act of being awesome and everything. And I know you think you are the best. But sometimes it's good to simply back down and throw your ego to the side, because it's what you do if you want to make friends and then keep them.'

He had predicted a fight, and naturally, he was right. The advice was timely and much-needed, and Barney was instantly relieved. The words sprang through his mind repeatedly, until he gave up trying to shut the voices up.

He sprang to his feet quickly, exited his room and darted towards Robin's, knocking lightly on the door twice before the egotistical side of him could stop himself.

_Don't think, just do._

He knocked once more, this time louder. He knew he was doing the right thing. He was doing something Ted would be happy to witness, and even though he rarely wished his best friend was with him in a certain moment, this time he thought it was a shame that he wasn't there in person to stand around looking impressed. He was dying for a pat of congratulations on the shoulder from his pal, and he hoped what he was going to do next would flow smoothly as he crossed his fingers for good luck.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Got some really nice reviews, and I only have two words for all the lovely people out there: THANK YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I didn't think anyone would read this. At all. So... Thank you!**

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Barney heard a faint voice from the other side of the door and felt his chest tighten.

"Come in."

"Hey."

He stumbled in awkwardly, his face flushed. He had not planned a speech beforehand and he cursed himself under his breath. How could he have forgotten? And how would he get the words out if he had not even thought about what he was going to say?

"Hey." She replied, and cleared her throat once. Twice. A third time.

"About this afternoon..." He started but was not sure on how he was going to proceed. "I just-"

"I know," she interrupted him. "I'm sorry."

"...Right." He paused. He had not expected her to be so straight-up with her apology. Hell, he had not expected her to even apologise at all. And now that she had, what would be his next move? His mind was in an overload, trying to work out the current situation.

"Yeah. You came for the apology, didn't you?"

_What?_

"It's fine. I was wrong and you were fuming and needed an apology, which was something I didn't offer. So now you're here, I'm apologising." She continued, getting up from the side of her bed. "Sorry."

"Oh."

"Oh?" She crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe. By 'come in', she had merely granted him permission to open the door; she had not exactly let him in, and he did not enter.

"Yeah. I mean, I was going to come in and apologise, but I obviously didn't get very far..." He started, but added quickly that he did not mean to make her think it was her fault. It was no one's fault.

"And..."

"I'm sorry, too."

"That's fine."

Silence.

"Can you tell me about your dad? I mean, why you were so angry at what I said?"

"_What_? No." Robin replied defensively. "I barely know you."

"I barely know _you_, and I'm telling you - I don't consider myself dad-less, but my dad... He's not very supportive. How do I say this? For starters, he's never been around. My mum did everything, and she made sure I didn't feel bad when other kids were going on about making their dad cards on Fathers' Day. She did a lot for me because she had to make up for everything my dad didn't do. And it sucks. But that's life."

Robin was speechless. She was confused as to why he should be sharing this sort of information with her after she had claimed that they barely knew each other, but took it in anyway. It was night, and people always said things they would regret in the morning. Drunk or sober, there was no difference. That was what she knew, and she was determined not to share too much, even if she absolutely had to. And she was definitely not touching alcohol. She knew there were all sorts of them in the fridge; rum, beer and even _vodka_ - damn it Lily - because she had seen them this morning when she was looking for the carton of milk, and there was no way she was going to consume any of that. She obviously could handle beer, but once she started she knew she would soon move on to vodka, which, in her opinion, is a killer.

It was best to just stay away from it all.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," she muttered sympathetically while averting her gaze to the floor. She wasn't good at handling feelings, be it hers or anyone else's. She knew she could always try, and she did, to find that she simply was not any good at emotions, full-stop.

"It's fine. I just..." He started, but trailed off. He looked worried, and suddenly, the mood has changed. They were no longer mad at each other, it seemed like. "Come on. Tell me about your dad? If he's not... Um, if he's alive."

"Oh, no. He's not dead, no." She blurted out, looking at him directly in the eye with an expression of shock. She blinked. "He's very alive."

"That's good." He nodded. "You know who he is?"

"Yeah. Been here all my life. Never supportive though."

"In what ways?"

She paused. "Just wasn't very supportive."

Barney sensed that she was not comfortable in sharing, still, and tried to prompt her. He gave her a nudge and a wry smile. "So. We've both got daddy issues. Turns out we have a lot more in common than I thought."

That seemed to lighten her mood as he caught a quick smile play on her face, before she lowered her head again to hide it. She shrugged. "I guess so."

They were quiet for a moment.

"Hey."

"Yeah?" She looked up again.

"There's beer in the fridge."

_No._

It was like he had read her mind on planning not to drink and was no skilfully persuading her to think again.

"I can't," she stated simply. For a moment, she considered telling him that she did the stupidest of things when she had one too many, and hence was just trying to avoid alcohol in general for now. She even considered telling him that Lily had made a bet with Marshall with her sex life, and that her best friend had bet she would be sleeping with Barney in two days, thinking she was an easy lay. It was outrageous, and she was desperate to prove her wrong. And obviously, the first step to not being an easy lay, she thought, was being conscious to whether or not you were one.

Currently, she was managing that quite well. She was not going to let a bottle of beer (that will soon turn into five, then a bottle of rum and a bottle of vodka) screw that all up. She gave in, in the end, sticking to the whole 'I barely know this guy' concept as she shoved all considerations to the back of her head.

"Who told you I was offering you a beer?" He smirked. "I was just stating there was beer in the fridge. For _me_."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh god. Please just shut up."

"Okay, okay! But seriously, a drink?"

"I don't drink," she lied and stared at him, a tight and uncomfortable smile spread across her face. _I might need to work on my lying_, she told herself as she continued looking at him with childlike innocence.

"Bullshit. The gang hangs out at the bar all the time and you have your fair share of alcohol."

"Yeah... Well, I quit yesterday." She tried again, her brain loaded with stupid excuses.

"Double bullshit."

Barney smirked again, and she felt defensive. She knew she could not fool him. Hell, she could not fool a ten year old with those excuses executed so poorly.

"Fine. That _was_ bullshit."

"So... Beer?"

"No. I told you, I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm not going to be drinking during this trip," Robin stated truthfully. _Or at least I'm trying not to as of right now._

"Since when did you decide on that ridiculous rule?"

"It's not a _rule. _It's just... A word of advice."

"From?"

"Myself."

He laughed.

"Self-advice is always the best advice you can ever get," she retorted, feeling annoyed.

"I see. But why?"

"Why what?"

"Why aren't you drinking?"

Barney questioned and paused, giving her time to think.

She knew how to answer that. In fact, she had a big bold paragraph in her head right now. She just had to open her mouth and say it.

_Because if I got drunk I would be all over you while the sober me would be completely unaware and grossed out if she ever knew, which is disgusting because I will never, in my entire life, do that. Ever. Because my best friend thinks I'm a whore, and I'm starting to think I am one, too. Because I have a drinking problem and I am trying to stop that from exploding into something major. And just because we speak more than twice a day now doesn't mean we're drinking buddies. And also, because hangovers suck._

But she decided to keep her mouth shut in the end and play safe.

"I just don't want to," she replied firmly, marking the end of the discussion on her drinking issues.

"Fine, you wuss. I'll leave you to your own devices then. Good talk."

"Piss off." She called out, though she felt nowhere near anger.

"Goodbye then."

"Shoo." Robin said awkwardly, waving him out of the entrance of her room as she closed the door behind her.

_That was close, _she thought. _Day Two over, three more to go. He may not be as bad as he seemed in the first place, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be sucking faces with him, unless Fate has other plans, but for the love of God, Fate, please don't have other plans._

There was another light tap on the door, and she whizzed around, bothered.

"What do you want?" She mumbled, and from the other side of the door came a meek response that she could not quite make out. She tried again, this time a little louder. "What do you want?"

"I want you to open the door. I forgot to tell you something."

"You can say it here like it is."

"I can't."

She rolled her eyes at his immaturity and opened the door.

"What _do _you want?" She snapped, a little more aggressively than she had intended. "You're driving me crazy."

"You're the most attractive woman I've yet to have sex with, and I hope we get to that eventually." Barney declared, before playfully adding a good night, and Robin slammed the door right into his face.

"Screw you, Fate."


	9. Chapter 9

_You're the most attractive woman I've yet to have sex with. You're the most attractive woman I've yet to have sex with. You're the most attractive woman I've yet to have sex with._

Seriously? What the hell was Barney playing at this time?

Robin slid down her bedroom door dramatically and she found herself sitting on the carpeted floor. Reaching for her phone - which was sitting innocently on her bed just like it was moments ago - she had to stop herself before dialling Lily's number.

_No. No calling. No calling in case that sneaky devil Barney Stinson is outside the door listening to me react to that stupid trick of whatever he's up to._

Pushing the idea of a phone call to the back of her head, she unlocked her phone in a hurry and opened her texts. She was ready to type a five page rant on why Barney was the biggest bastard to ever exist, how she felt she had just been sexually harassed and how she would most definitely shoot herself dead if she had to spend one more day with him. She tapped on the screen furiously for a minute before realising now that they were so close to Canada soil, the text would probably cost a fortune.

_Scratch that, then. _She thought. _Knowing Lily, she'd probably plant a router here somewhere for my sake. I'll do with IM-ing her._

She was right. Lily had installed a router, and however she managed that and why she was even able to connect to the Internet in a moving vehicle was something Robin failed to understand.

_But whatever._

She sank into her bed with her phone in hand, ready to go as she clicked on Lily's contact information.

_Lily Aldrin: Online._

"Good," she mumbled to herself, typing madly once again, occasionally clicking 'backspace' as autocorrect failed to recognise her words.

Five minutes later, she hit send.

Robin sighed. Maybe she was just overreacting. Barney was a player - that was not a secret - and maybe she had just taken him too seriously when he made that so-called joke. He slept with girls all the time and those flings never meant anything to him more than just a conquer, so she should probably relax and realise that they still hate each other's guts.

She laid still and thought about the way he had said it, that little smirk he had. It was violating, and she just wished she could wipe that irritating smile off his equally irritating face.

_Yeah, that would be nice._

But in all honesty, Robin Scherbatsky all flustered because she had just been told she was attractive? It was definitely not what she had envisioned. It was... It was just _ridiculous. _Robin Scherbatsky, in her own definition, was tough. The toughest. Nobody messed with her. Robin Scherbatsky had a career and didn't need a man, at least not now. _That _was Robin Scherbatsky. Not some silly sixteen year old school girl with the yearning of a date or two at the beach with a random dude, however good-looking they might have happened to be.

Her phone beeped, and she jumped, leaping back into reality.

**aldrinlily:** He said WHAT? Oh my god, it's true. IT'S TRUE. Ladies and gentlemen, IT'S HAPPENING! Marshall is freaking out just as much as I am. BECAUSE IT'S HAPPENING. I swear, it's hard to be smarter than everyone else, but I've fully accepted it. The point is, IT'S HAPPENING. And so soon, too. God bless America. Now go hook up, you energetic little bunnies. You have my support. Condoms are in the back drawer in your room. Have an amazing time.

**rscherbatsky: **Lily... Sorry, but WHAT? You're supposed to tell me it's a BAD IDEA. And that YOU'RE AGAINST IT. And that Barney Stinson is a COMPLETE and UTTER bastard and I should NOT sleep with him, at all costs.

She hit send, and got a reply so quickly that she thought Lily might have been reading her mind as she typed just then.

**aldrinlily: **FOR GOD'S SAKE, ROBIN. I MADE A BET WITH MARSHALL. JUST HOOK UP WITH HIM. I REALLY NEED SOME CASH RIGHT NOW. BESIDES, I'VE BEEN WAITING TO SET YOU GUYS UP FOR EXACTLY FOREVER. BECAUSE YOU GUYS WOULD MAKE SUCH A CUTE COUPLE! (IF YOU DIDN'T HATE EACH OTHER AND WANTED THE OTHER ONE DEAD ALL THE TIME.) DON'T TELL TED WHAT I'VE JUST SAID - HE'S GOING TO KILL ME IF HE KNOWS. BUT JUST GO FOR IT.

Robin closed her eyes and reopened them. _Great. My best friend is on crack._

**rscherbatsky: **1. Stop screaming at me, typing in caps. 2. That bet worths like, FIVE BUCKS. I can give you TEN TIMES of that if you start behaving like a rational human being and start agreeing with me here - like friends do - on why I shouldn't hook up with him. Okay? 3. THAT IS ALL. There is no point three.

**aldrinlily: **I know, I know. But what's wrong with him, really? I'll tell you what's wrong with him, except I can't, because there's nothing wrong with him at all. He's just a guy, Robin. Relax. Do what you need to do. Drink some vodka. Dance a little. Hook up with him for a bit. Chill out. Then do it again when you've realised he's the one you've been missing all your life.

**rscherbatsky: **Wrong, wrong, and... Wrong. Also, about the vodka - I'm going to _kill_ you when I get back. What is wrong with you!? I've lost all my faith in you, Aldrin. You are sneaky. And possibly evil. To be approached with caution at all times and not to be trusted, ever.

**aldrinlily: **You're right. I am sneaky and evil. But also correct 100% of the time. So just trust me and go on. It's going to be great. Ted's not going to know about it, if that's what you're worried about.

**rscherbatsky: **I think I'm going to faint.

**aldrinlily: **Hopefully in his arms.

**rscherbatsky: **This conversation is over.

**aldrinlily: **And I'm assuming it's because you're finally putting down your phone to go hook up with him next door, then. About time anyway. Have fun, baby girl!

_Lily Aldrin: Offline._

Robin sighed.

_Well, that was useful._

She turned off her light, but somehow she didn't feel like sleeping anymore. Sleep was just a time-machine to the next morning, and she figured the last time she needed right now was next morning to come. Because that would mean she would have to face Barney, and honestly, right now, she didn't even feel like breathing the same air as him.

So she thought about the situation over and over again for the next half hour as she laid in the darkness, her eyes wide open and her mind buzzing until she eventually grew tired and closed her eyes, drifting into dreamland.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Sorry for the lack of updates! Really busy week. I've had two chapters typed up and will be uploading the other one real soon. :)**

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"Barney, it's YOUR turn to drive! Get out of there!" Robin yelled as she knocked on his bedroom door repeatedly. Why was she always the one to wake up earlier? God, it was hard being more responsible than just about everyone in the whole damn planet. "We've got to get moving! This is Day Three and we're nowhere near Toronto!"

She had decided not to think about that little comment he had made last night. She thought she was just going to let that one slide, because, what was the saying again? Right. The saying was that things were only awkward if you made them awkward. And she was not going to let that happen.

From the other side of the door, she heard muffled noises that sounded like complaint, followed by loud sneezes and she lowered her voice in concern.

"Are you okay in there?" She asked gently and knocked once more, a quick rhythm tapping against the door.

"I'm fine! I'm fine! Just..." He called out quickly, and seemed to have tripped over something as she heard an 'oof', as if he had just taken a blow to his stomach

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm coming in whether you like it or not," she declared and turned the knob, sliding into his bedroom. It was neat - _much _too neat for a dude, if she were to go with the gender stereotypes - and that weirded her out. Nonetheless, she brushed it aside and walked over to the centre of the rather tiny room, to where he was sitting on the floor with ruffled hair and a red nose.

"Look at you! What a sight," she commented, but with no malice in her voice.

"I know, I know. I look terrible. I don't know what happened. I just woke up like this." He whined, and then sneezed again, so loudly that she had to step back in caution.

"You caught a cold, that's what happened."

"Wow, and when did you get your medical degree?"

"No, you _did. _Suck it up." She crossed her arms with authority in her voice, standing in the middle of the room for a few seconds before she walked over to help him up.

"What are you doing?" Sneeze.

"I'm trying to help you up! I guess you can take a break today and just chill out until you get better, and I can still drive for a bit, but I don't think I'll get very far." She proposed, linking her arm into his as she tried to drag him over to the bed.

It took a lot of effort as he struggled to his feet, clutching a box of Kleenex tightly, but she managed to get him where she wanted him - sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You're not mad at me?" He asked, looking up to a concerned expression on her face. Another sneeze.

She rolled her eyes. "I may be a bitch, but I'm not _that_ much of a bitch. Why would I be mad at you for being sick? I think you should just go to bed and sleep in today."

She commanded and he slid under the covers obediently, like a child climbing into bed for bedtime.

"Want to join me?" He patted the side of the bed and winked as he watched her face scrunching up in disgust. He loved when he pissed her off. It was just the small tingling sensation of satisfaction he would get the moment she rolled her eyes or crossed her arms in frustration. It was the kind of satisfaction that could not be reached through any other way.

"God, no. You're just as annoying, even when you're sick."

"Fine," he mumbled, shrugging. "It's your loss. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, whatever you say. Just go and get some sleep and get better so I don't have to do all the driving."

"But you get to pick the music."

"But you get to lie in bed like a corpse while listening to awesome music I pick," she imitated him, whining.

"But your music sucks."

"_Just go to bed._" Robin heaved a sigh, getting ready to leave his room to give him some privacy when he sat up and grabbed her by the wrist in one swift motion.

"Can you tuck me in?" Barney called out smugly, giving her a pleading expression.

"How old_ are_ you?" she shot back, feigning irritation.

"Not old enough to go to bed without being tucked in."

"That mum of yours - she really spoiled you, didn't she?"

She groaned, but compelled. After she had done so, she stood up straight and was making her way towards the bedroom door when he called out once again.

"No, you have to tuck it _all the way up to my chin_!"

She rolled her eyes but did so anyway, walking over to where he laid and pulled the sheets all the way up to his chin, exactly like he had asked for. He smiled in satisfaction.

There was no point trying to argue with Barney, and she knew that. It was always best to just do whatever he wanted her to do then escape the scene fast.

"Can you bring me ice-cre-" Barney started, but was quickly interrupted.

"No! Go to bed right now!" She yelled playfully and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her before he had a chance to protest again.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: This had been a difficult chapter to write! I've originally planned something ****_completely_**** different, but decided against it as I reread my draft, thinking it might bore everyone. Hope you like this one. I have to say, Barney just gets dishier with every chapter, _especially _when he - (SPOILER!) - cries. Eeeee.**

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Robin knocked on Barney's bedroom door twice, barely holding onto the warm cup of tea and the bowl of popcorn on a tray with the other hand. It was noon, and they were officially in Toronto. _Like, after a million years. Finally. At long last._

She was especially proud for accomplishing this and simply could not wait to tell Barney, knowing it would probably make him even more sick knowing they were breathing Canadian air. Which was fine for her.

There was no response, and she took it that he was still asleep. Still, she had no intention of leaving the tea to cool on its own while he snored, only then to have it poured away later on. She turned the doorknob quietly, slipped in and knew immediately she was right. She couldn't help but beam at the sight. He was indeed sleeping soundly, his head tilted to one side, and his body was - she assumed from his vague body outline under the covers - sprawled out like a starfish on the ocean floor. She put down the tray carefully on a nearby table and walked over to where he produced gentle snores, nudging him once gently in an attempt to wake him up.

"Hey, wake up." She whispered, bent over to scoop down to his ear-level.

His snores were interrupted, and for a brief second she thought he was going to spring from his bed, animated and alive, completely free of the horrid cold, but the snores returned to their steady peace soon afterwards. She felt her shoulders slouch.

She tried again, nudging him once more, this time with slightly more force than the last. She desperately wanted him to wake up. Somehow, with him being asleep and her not, it made her feel a little lonely. Still, she kept her tone minimum.

"Wake up."

There was still no response and she sighed. She had just prepared all of this for him and he was lying there, limp and motionless, sound asleep. Shouldn't he just pop up from the dead or something to thank her eternally? She had just made him _tea_. Robin Scherbatsky has never made anyone _tea_. And that's because Robin Scherbatsky did not make people tea. So now that she had - for once - shouldn't something happen? Something more than the sound of his snores in her ears as she stood there on command like a puppet?

_Wait. Is he dead?_

With that thought in mind, she shuddered a little before raising her voice with a sense of urgency.

"Wake _up_!"

And he did. He sat up abruptly, confused and irritated, his hair messy, but not in that slouchy, dodgy, 'I've just been caught in a tornado way'. It was messy in that... Movie star way, _however the hell he managed it_. She wanted to kick herself in the face.

_Of course he's not dead, stop being silly._

"What?" He blurted out, panicky, losing all that movie star aura he had just seconds ago. "Where am I? What year is it? What? Who are you? Wait, no. I know you. You're _Robin_. Despicable, annoying _Robin_. Of course I know you. You're so awful I'd know you from a mile away. What the hell am I doing with _you_, of all people, of all the hot chicks in New York City?" He pointed a finger at her in an accusing manner, his brows knitted tightly together.

_Despicable? Annoying? Awful? Of all people? What?_

For a moment, Robin thought she had just been stabbed repeatedly in the gut. Sure, they had not been the best of friends. It was obvious and it didn't need telling. They have never shared toothbrushes or jackets or showers like proper friends did... Actually, scratch that. No proper friends should share a shower. That was a terrible thought. But despite not being his 'mate', those comments still stung.

So she just stood there, motionless and unable to speak, and it went like this for a while, the atmosphere dull and the room dead quiet. She wished she had not go and made a fool of herself for even attempting to care for him.

_So much for thinking we were friends._

She felt a sharp prick and she realised tears were welling in her eyes.

_Shit. No. Stop crying. You don't care about this guy._

Trying to hide them, she turned away and looked at the tray of food, shrugging, and he must have realised how hurtful his comments had been, for he immediately looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I really didn't! I was just... I woke up, and I didn't know. I swear, I didn't mean to-"

His voice was filled with genuine guilt and concern, but she just shook her head, still holding her gaze onto the floor as if taken a sudden interest in the carpeting. "No, I get it. I _am_ despicable. And I _am_ annoying. I'm not someone you'd like to hang out with. I thought we were friends for a while back there. But um, clearly I'm wrong. I'm glad we clarified that. Now I'll just go-"

"No!" He yelled out, a little too loudly. "We _are _friends. What are you talking about? No, don't go!" He kept raising his voice, but she was making her way to the door. "I'm sorry. I really am. Please don't go!"

He was talking as loudly as he could in that hoarse voice of his and it hurt his throat, but he knew the hurt she felt from his comments just moments ago were much more than that stupid little prickling sensation he felt now. She ignored him completely, hurrying out, and he didn't blame her. He had just messed up one potentially happy human interaction with some girl. Again.

Except she wasn't quite just 'some girl' in his eyes. He was just getting to know her better and for some reason, he liked her. He liked her a lot. _Including _her stupid Canadian accent and her obsession with scotch. And her snotty tone of voice when she knew she was going to win an argument.

"Where are you going?" He blurted as he bolted out of bed and stuck his head out of the doorway just to see her shoving things hurriedly in her little red cross-body.

"That's none of your business!" She yelled, and the only thing he heard was the slamming of the caravan door.

He sighed and fell to his knees, his hands holding his head. Why was he always screwing everything up? And why had he just said whatever he had said? It didn't even make sense. He knew she was right. They were getting along just fine - counting out that major argument - but even then, they had resolved it, hadn't they? Why couldn't he just be a normal person and stop destroying all the nice things he ever had? What was wrong with him?

He dragged his feet back to his room and noticed the little tray she had prepared, feeling worse by the second. She had even made him tea, and what had he done in response to her? He had told her to piss off, however indirectly he had put it.

Barney wanted to cry. He sniffed loudly instead, exhaling as he held back the tears. His heart felt faint, and that was when he knew how important she had become to him in just a couple of days' time.

He never cried after the age of twelve - he had sworn he would not since that time. In his eyes, crying was a sign of weakness, and he was desperate to tell everyone that he was anything but that. He didn't cry when his favourite toy car had been broken and his mum had told him it couldn't be fixed; he didn't cry when he had gotten beat up by some rough boys at school; and he didn't cry when he had found his mother alone, sobbing quietly one night by her bedside, for a reason he never did find out. He had felt bad during all these occasions - _he really had_ - but tears never emerged. In fact, he used to joke around with Ted, telling him crying were for idiots, and maybe his tear ducts had dried up due to the sheer amount of awesome he had.

But standing there now, he felt like the real idiot. He wasn't sure why this particular event bothered him so much. It just did, and he supposed it didn't matter why now, because he realised he had to go look for her immediately. To apologise. To set everything straight. He threw on some sweats and a jacket, slipped on his shoes and gathered up his things. And out he went.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I. Am. An. Idiot. I've just written the entire chapter and then accidentally swiped left on my trackpad, which meant everything I've written was gone. *Repeatedly smashes head on keyboard* I'M GOING TO RE-TYPE IT. And hopefully it won't happen again!**

* * *

_Barney Stinson, you're not thinking._

Barney stood alone, his backpack over his shoulder. He was a few hundred yards away from the caravan now, and he had no idea where he was going to go next. For starters, Toronto is huge. How was he supposed to go look for her in such a densely populated area? It was like finding a needle in a haystack. In other words, it was impossible.

He straightened his back and coughed to clear his throat, reaching into his pocket for a pen. That was it. He was going to make a list of all the places she could possibly be. And he would find her eventually. It couldn't be _that_ hard, could it?

Making himself comfortable by sitting cross-legged on the ground, he started brainstorming.

_Her home, or somewhere near it_, he wrote neatly, but crossed it out soon after. She was born and raised in Vancouver, wasn't she? Not Toronto. She might have visited during the holidays, but he doubted she called this place home. So... _No_. That would not be it.

It didn't take long for the other side of the map to fill up, the empty side he had been happy to discover, and in under ten minutes' time, he had compiled an entire list. Or, sort of.

_Places Robin may have retreated to:_

_- The biggest shopping mall in Toronto_

Girls liked to shop when they were pissed, don't they? This would make sense.

_- Some place really Canadian_

Okay, really vague. But it could be helpful.

_- The beach_

He _had_ noticed the way she had been mesmerised by the crowded beach they had driven past earlier on, hence she could have headed there for a moment of solitude or something as she cleared her mind.

The list was short, but it was the best he could come up with, and he realised he didn't exactly know her after all. He knew they had improvements in terms of communication - and they did - but now as he thought about it, he realised that all this time while he thought he could read her like a book, he actually barely knew her. He didn't even know her favourite colour, let alone where she would hang out when they had reached Toronto.

"Damn it," he mumbled, all of a sudden frustrated. "I'm never going to find her."

He picked himself up and crumpled the map into a ball, and was just about to head back to the caravan in hopes of waiting for Robin to come back soon on her own when he felt something hit him hard. It was like a bolt of lightning struck him. It was unexplainable, but it gave him a motivation, a kickstart, and he instantly knew he had to find her. He had screwed up once, and he wasn't planning to do it again anytime soon. The list was still as short and vague as ever, but there was no stopping him in trying to get to her now. It was always the effort that counted, wasn't it? Besides, he might actually find her.

Ten seconds later, he was up and running, straightening the crumpled map as he scanned the city in urgency. First stop: The biggest mall in Toronto.

* * *

"Hey!" He yelled a casual greeting as he jumped into a taxi. Canadians were known to be nice, after all. And if he was going to be getting any help from this taxi driver, he reckoned he would have to be polite. Besides, he had never been the type to be rude anyway, so putting in a little more effort into saying 'please' and 'thank you' wouldn't prove to be too difficult. "Um, can you take me to the biggest mall in Toronto?"

"Howdy! What did you say again? Sorry, couldn't quite catch that!"

The driver turned around, and to Barney's surprise, he was extremely cheerful. In fact, he was the exact opposite of 90% of New York City's drivers. The last time Barney had hailed a taxi in the big apple, he had almost been run over, only to get yelled at minutes later by the same driver for not getting into the taxi quick enough. Even a true New Yorker like himself had been confused then. _He _almost got run over, yet _he_ was expected to do the apologising? It was ridiculous, and seeing how friendly this taxi driver was made his heart leap with joy. Perhaps he shouldn't trash-talk Canada so often. It _really_ wasn't that bad of a country.

"The biggest mall in Toronto, please?"

There was a slight expression on the driver's face, but in a moment, he perked up again, his brows furrowed and determined as if he knew just the place to drive off to. Barney felt the engine roar louder, and although he had no idea where they were going, he was confident the driver did.

"So I see you're a tourist." He slips in casually, his smile not wavering, as he steals a glance at the way his passenger had been dressed. "City's quite nice, eh?"

"Yeah, it is." Barney chimes in, determined not to let the insults slip out.

"Mm," the driver mumbled as he held his steady hold on the steering wheel. "So you're here alone?"

"Sort of. For now anyway. I mean, my girlfriend is Canadian. But we kind of... Got separated here. So I'm on my way to find her now, if I can."

The driver raised an eyebrow and whistled cheekily at the word _girlfriend_, and Barney's eyes widened. Did he really just refer to Robin as his _girlfriend _to a complete stranger? Gross.

"No! I mean, girlfriend as in, _female friend_. Not really girlfriend." He filled in quickly, flustered.

"Really? It sounds as though you do care a great deal about this girl." The driver winked at him in the rearview mirror and Barney shuddered. He kind of wanted to evaporate, right there and then on the spot.

"Not really, no."

A light chuckle came from the driver's seat. "Ah, well. Shame. She sounds like a nice girl."

Barney paused. "I hope I don't sound rude, but... You don't even know this girl."

"She's a Canuck, isn't she?"

"She's a what?"

"Canadian. She's a Canadian, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is."

The driver shrugged, giving a laid back smile.

"That will explain it. Not to boast, but we're definitely the nicest people ever... And we're here!"

Barney had been so engrossed in the conversation he had barely noticed they had driven into the busy streets of downtown Toronto, but now that he had arrived, he had to admit that he was actually quite blown away by the hustle and bustle. It was surprising, considering he had been used to the whole tall buildings and loud noises scene in New York City. Still, he gasped at the sight.

He paid the driver, mumbled a quick thank you as he wished him luck in finding his _girlfriend_ - a term he simply couldn't let go of - and he stepped out into the streets. He stood in front of Eaton Centre, mouth agape. He had not even set foot in it, but he already knew a thing. This place was _huge_. How the hell was he going to find her? Was he _ever_ going to find her? He didn't know, but he had barely begun and being headstrong, he had no intention of giving up.

* * *

He had searched high and low for nearly an hour and a half, walking into every single shop and searching every corner of the mall, only to be beaten down and defeated with rejection. Retrieving his pen to cross out _the biggest shopping mall in Toronto _off his list, he made his way to the exit. If she had been there, he had failed to spot her, but he refused to believe that. Instead, he had simply concluded that maybe she just wasn't that interested in malls in the first place.


	13. Chapter 13

Barney breezed through the hustle and bustle of the city, grabbing his list tightly as he tried to make sense of the next venue. It was only now that he had come to his senses and realised how ridiculous he had been. He glowered at his list.

_'Some place really Canadian.'_

_Pardon my French, _he thought. _But no shit. This place is Canada. It's really Canadian... everywhere._

He sighed loudly, turning a couple of heads around him and shrugged it off, embarrassed. This was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea, but he decided to pursue it anyway. And that was just one of his many screw-ups. He should really just give up now and return to the caravan. Maybe she had done so, too, only to find him away with the tray of food turned stone cold...

_Shit. The tray of food._

He had completely forgotten about the treat she had fixed him, and now that he had, he felt another wave of guilt wash through him. He wanted to find her, he really did, but how was he meant to? This place was buzzing. There were people everywhere; laughing, chatting, driving, holding hands, and he was this one person trying to find a girl he had just pissed off. What were the odds, really?

But screw 'the odds', right? 'The odds' never made sense, and they definitely did not stop anyone from doing whatever they had wanted to do anyway. Truth was, if you wanted something or someone badly enough, you'd flip 'the odds' off with a finger and trudge into the obstacle course anyway.

_Some place Canadian, _he brainstormed. _Some place really Canadian. Hoser Hut?... Huh? No. They probably don't have it here. The entire country's a hoser hut. Or cafés. Or... Restaurants. Or... A coffee shop. Tim Horton's!_

That was the most Canadian thing he could ever think of, and he congratulated himself for it silently. But here was the thing - in case he had not realised , there happened to be more than _one_ Tim Horton's in the whole of Toronto. The coffee shops would spread on for miles, just like how Starbucks were back in America. So maybe good ol' Timmy Ho's would not be the best place to look...

Barney stared at the list, indecisive. He _could_ go around the city walking into coffee shops shouting 'Robin Scherbatsky?' like a lunatic, or he could just... Not.

_No. No no no. Don't think like that. Screw the odds, right? Right._

He knew he had to go and find her. Even if it killed him. There were just things worth dying for, and this could possibly be one of them.

* * *

Barney had managed to track down most of the locations of the coffee shops, and he had just finished his thirty-first 'coffee run' when he had stumbled into the street, exhausted and bloated.

He didn't plan on buying anything in the first place, and he did not, until he stormed into the fifteenth shop and noticed that the company had been trying to raise funds for a disabled children's organisation. And so, he had brought either a doughnut or a double-double from each and every store he had set foot in from then on.

Wiping the strawberry jam from the corner of his mouth with his sleeve, he crossed out another note he made on the map. There was a total of 275 shops in Toronto alone; he knew because he had asked one of the staff, and the thought of more food made him feel a bit nauseous.

Okay. The doughnuts were really good, as was the coffee. But after a dozen of them and four double-doubles, he simply felt like vomiting. And there were still over 200 stores left on the map.

_Ugh._

He knew sacrifices would have to be made, but _why _did it have to be so difficult? _Why?_

Barney was about to give up as he spotted a familiar figure walking briskly across the street, and his eyeballs nearly bulged out of their sockets.

_Robin?_

He grabbed onto his map tightly and ran after that silhouette, desperate and confused.

"Hi, sorry! Excuse me!" He mumbled as he darted from spot to spot. "Sorry! I'm so sorry! Excuse me!"

He finally caught up with that woman. Breathless and hopeful, he tapped on her on the shoulder. "Robin?" She turned around, confused, and immediately, he felt his heart sink.

"Oh... Sorry. Um. I... I thought you were my friend." He blurted out, apologetic.

"It's fine. Happened to me last time!" She chirped, and once again, he was blown away by how nice Canadians were. Maybe he should just move here and start a new life with these kind people or something, living off doughnuts and maple syrup.

Sighing, Barney returned to his search, his hope diminishing by the second. It was 6pm. He should be there with Robin right now, at some popular tourist spot, doing things tourists did. He should be there laughing with her in between sneezes, and she would hand him a Kleenex, and they would continue laughing until their cheeks were pink and their stomachs hurt. Instead, he was there running all around Toronto, looking for her like a madman. How could plans go so wrong?

* * *

Robin gathered her things and brushed sand off her bag, the wind blowing in her hair. She breathed out loudly, feeling all too sullen.

Deep down, underneath his outer shell of stupidity and utter idiocy, she knew Barney was a good guy. That she couldn't deny. He was insulting but charming at the same time. He was loud and obnoxious, but he could be caring if he wanted to be. He constantly blurted out things he didn't mean, but he felt sorry about it afterwards. He was just... a good guy. A good, ordinary guy who screwed up occasionally and then fixes what he screws up.

But she hadn't let him fix what he had screwed up, had she? She had simply walked out of the caravan. She had slammed the door and left him behind in the heat of the fight, just like that. And now that she thought about it, she knew she had completely overreacted. Originally, she had thought going out and sitting on the sandy shore of a beautiful beach would make her feel better about what she did, and she could somehow spend the time to justify her actions, but the longer she sat there, the worst she felt.

She knew she had to get back to the caravan and apologise. It was the right thing to do. Fixing their friendship was more important than nursing her ego. Besides, if she didn't return, Barney would never have found her anyway. How would he have known where to look?

Walking away from the shore, she smiled sadly. She was determined to get back to the caravan as soon as possible, to apologise and hopefully make it up to him somehow.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hi! Hi! Hi! Sorry for being away for such a long time. Busy with it being the holidays and stuff. This chapter is quite long but I think it's a good one. Happy reading and have a merry merry Christmas! :)**

* * *

Robin unlocked the caravan door and slid it open gently. She was exhausted and her heart nearly skipped a beat as she stumbled into the darkness.

"Barney?" She called out miserably, still unable to accept the fact that she was all alone. "Are you here? Bar-ney."

Where the hell was he?

She hesitated before switching on the light, thinking he was probably hiding somewhere, planning to scare her or do something awful to get back at her, but there was no one. It was quiet in there - so quiet that it creeped her out a little bit, being alone in such an eery atmosphere at night. She grabbed her phone and dialled Barney's number, ignoring the possible pricey phone bill that would come hand in hand with the concern she was having for him right now. She crossed her fingers and mumbled a quick prayer, despite not being particularly religious in any way. He _had _to answer. He just had to. He couldn't just leave her alone. That was not part of the plan.

"Come on..." She whispered as she paced around the room, one hand on her hip. "Pick up, pick up, _pick up_, you idiot. Just p-"

"Barney Stinson."

"Barney!" Robin almost cried out upon hearing his voice and she allowed her verbal diarrhoea to begin as she spilled out what appeared to be a jumble of words. "Where are you? Where the hell _are _you? I'm so worried. I'm glad you're alive... Wait, you're alive, right? I just need to know that you're alive. Tell me you are indeed aliv-"

"Of course I'm alive. If I weren't I wouldn't have picked up and I wouldn't be speaking to you right now," he replied, his voice soothing her immediately. "The thing is, are _you_ alive? The actual Robin Scherbatsky? Because this version sounds like some uber touchy-feely Robin and I'm starting to think the real one has been kidnapped." She could detect a smirk coming from the end of the line and she wanted to smack herself in the face in embarrassment.

Feeling stupid, she got back on her high horse parade and jutted her chin out as though they were talking face-to-face. "Well... You haven't answered my question. Where are you? It's... I mean, it's your turn to cook and I'm... Hungry." She demanded, feigning annoyance. To let Barney Stinson know she had actually been worried about him? That wasn't going to happen. She would rather jump off a cliff without a safety harness attached to her.

"Ah... About that... I'm... I'm at..."

"Where are you?" She prompted, growing impatient.

"You see... The thing is, I don't actually know where I am right now," he mumbled sheepishly.

"What?"

"You heard me. I said I don't actually know where I am," he repeated, flustered and clearly embarrassed. "You're so maddening at times. Remind me to buy you a pair of hearing aids this Christmas."

"Yeah, I _did_ hear you. 'What?' was my reaction, idiot. But do you seriously have no idea where you are? For God's sake, you're a grown ass man!"

"I'm a grown ass man in a country I've never set foot in!"

"You're lying."

"I _am_ a grown ass man."

"About never setting foot in Canada, I mean. How could you have never? You're from New York City. That's like, _really _close to Canada."

"Exactly. I'm from New York City. Why would I ever leave the big apple for some backward ass place?" He replied, frustrated, as if she wasn't getting his point.

"That's just an excuse!"

"That's not an excuse, that's a proper reason."

"No, you-"

She sighed. There was no point in arguing with him. She knew what she had to do. She had to go fetch him, wherever he happened to be stranded at.

"So... Look around. Can you tell me what you see?"

"I see people."

"That's very useful information, idiot." She rolled her eyes. "You're in a freaking city! Of course there are people. That's like saying there's a lot of sand when someone asks you to describe and identify the beach you're currently at. Come on. I want details. Specifics? Landmarks, if any. Capiche?"

"Are you speaking _French_?" He replied in disgust. "And you do realise that you call me 'idiot' a lot, don't you?"

"It's _Italian_. And that's because you are one."

"You guys have to speak_ Italian_ here too?"

"No! Just... Shut up and start describing."

"How can I start describing if you're telling me to shut up at the same time, Scherbatsky?"

She could tell he was enjoying this.

"Just do it." She commanded through gritted teeth. "And you call _me_ the maddening one."

"Alright..." He finally compelled, and within three minutes, Robin knew exactly where he was. She was glad the Summers spent in Toronto during her teenage years finally paid off. Before hanging up, she ordered him to stay where he was and explained that she was going to get him as soon as she could. Tired of arguing too, he mumbled a series of 'yes madam's and allowed her to end the call in peace.

Robin gathered her things and headed out once again, her heart feeling much lighter than before. She was going to apologise before he had a chance to, that was for sure. As for how she was going to do that, she had plenty of time to think.

* * *

"How did you manage to get yourself stuck there anyway?" Robin laughed, feeling a surge of victory as she got out of the bathroom from her shower. They were finally back after a whirlwind of adventures, and she had let Barney shower first after witnessing his jam-stained coat.

"I told you, I was looking for you." He grumbled, sprawled across the couch. "The least you could do is say _thank you_, RoRo."

Not being fond of nicknames in the slightest, she did a double take. "...Don't say that."

"Don't say what?"

"You know what I'm talking about. That word."

"Which word? Looking? Least? Thank?" He teased.

"RoRo. _Ugh_. I'm really starting to regret saving your life. I should just have left you there to spend the night in the cold." She scoffed, crossing her arms as she leaned against the cupboard.

"Except you wouldn't have, because you love me just a bit too much for that to happen."

"You _do_ flatter yourself, Mr. Stinson." She raised an eyebrow and cocked her head sideways.

"But that's only because I'm worth it, RoRo."

Running to the couch, she grabbed a cushion and aimed it at Barney, daring him to call her RoRo one more time.

"You say that word one more time and I'll throw this in your face." She tried to say it as threateningly as she could, in her most authoritative voice.

"Ro-" He smirked. "_-Ro_."

But his smirk was short-lived as it was wiped straight off his face when she stayed true to her word and threw the cushion at him, causing him to let out another exaggerated '_ow_' before he jumped to his feet, ready to get the revenge he felt he so badly deserved.

"You little minx!" He squeaked, rubbing his arms dramatically as he grabbed a nearby cushion. "I'm going to get you, I swear! Don't you run!"

"You can't!" She let out a high-pitched squeal as she dodged the cushion. "See? You can't. My dad trained me for this."

"You _think _I can't. Well, I'm gonna show you. I'm gonna-"

Robin ran into the rooms before he had a chance to finish and cleared out all the pillows they both had, cracking a wide grin as she reappeared in the tiny hallway.

"You ready, Barnstorm?" She enquired alluringly, forgetting her own disapproval of nicknames. She moved closer towards him. If they were going to have a pillow fight, they were going to do it properly. Firing pillows and cushions at him quickly, she hopped onto the couch to get better aim before dodging another one coming from Barney, who was busy gathering ammo from all over the room the same time he catapulted them from across the landing.

"_So_ ready. Watch me."

He gathered the cushions that had fallen onto the floor hurriedly and chased after her, the two running circles around the mini coffee table hysterically like little kids would, making use of whatever little space they had in the little caravan. He threw another one a little too forcefully and it hit her on the side, causing her to lose balance and fall onto the couch.

"_Ow_!" she yelped and tried to get back up on her feet, but he had run over to where she was, and in a split second, tackled her back to where she laid. "Hey! That's cheating!" She mumbled in between pillows as he tried to smother her playfully.

"That's not cheating, that's called being awesome." He replied, letting out a laugh that seemed a lot like a five year old's, a laugh that, to say the least, melted her heart.

"Stop it! Stop it, stop it, _stop_ it!" She squealed, before mischievously chanting "I got you, I got you!" as she poked him in the rib repeatedly, causing him to double over in laughter.

"It's ticklish, _stop it_!"

"_You _stop!"

"_You_!"

"_You_!"

They mucked about for a minute or so, the two of them trying hard not to let defeat come their way. Robin continued chanting "I got you!" and Barney tried to avoid being tickled to death - if that was a thing - and for a moment, they were in such high spirits they had completely forgotten about the ridiculous argument they had just hours ago.

"_You_!" He had barely gathered his breath when he felt his hand slip from the side of the couch he had been grabbing hold onto. He let out a squeak before falling directly onto her, their faces ending up less than an inch apart. He could feel her heavy breathing and her breath smelled of fresh mints. _From the toothpaste, _he assumed, and for once, he was glad he had brushed his teeth just now. How embarrassing would it be, to have breath that smelled like dead fish? _Very, _he thought, relieved.

It was one of those ridiculous moments that seemed to only ever take place in seriously cheesy romantic comedies, and it had happened to him. For whatever the hell reason, it happened to him.

The two of them remained frozen and wide-eyed as they stared at each other in shock, unable to speak or react. The silence lingered, and Robin cleared her throat awkwardly with her mouth still closed, desperately trying to come up with something to say.

_Oh my God, _she thought. _Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. My father did not train me for this._

She cleared her throat again, still trying to think of something to say, when Barney filled in for her, a gesture she was completely thankful for.

"You know that thing I said earlier on?"

She paused for a second, before stammering "...what thing?"

"The 'you're really attractive and I'd totally nail you' thing," he slipped in casually, and she flinched. She hated how he always seemed so relaxed and at ease. If he was nervous right now, he definitely was not showing it.

"That thi-"

"Sh. _Sh._ Listen to me please." He whispered, his face not moving a centimetre away from hers. Truth to be told, she was starting to enjoy the mysterious sexual tension between them, something they had seemed to have carried with them onto the caravan ever since the first day. She thought she could just nail him on the spot if that was what he wanted, since that was what she wanted too... But _no_. She cleared her thoughts. _Lily would have way too much to say about this._

"Yeah?" She mumbled, breathless from how close they were.

"About that thing..." He started, and frowned, pretending to be in deep thought before regaining his gaze on her. "I meant it. I absolutely meant it."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Hope everyone's having a lovely holiday!**

* * *

"Did you?"

Robin glanced at Barney, who was inching in closer by the minute. She had no idea what she was doing. She knew she had to stop this all, someway, somehow, but she seemed to have lost even the slightest amount of power she was going to summon.

"I did."

"Well, we'll see about that." She mumbled, smiles creeping on both of their faces. "We'll see about that." She repeated, before adding, "how about we just go back to my place?"

"You make it sound as though we're not just living a tiny caravan in Canada," he mumbled in return as he nibbled on her neck, a gesture she found to be incredibly overwhelming. "But as you wish, pretty lady."

They got up slowly and manoeuvred towards her bedroom, bumping into walls and furniture, his arms wrapped around her waist the whole time as he purred into her ear in a low and gentle hum.

"You've really got a knack for this," she giggled appreciatively as he placed her on the bed carefully, delicately running his fingers through her hair. "Is this the reason behind your getting laid so often?"

For a moment, she failed to read his expression, but when he cracked a small grin, she knew she had picked the right combination of words.

"It doesn't matter," Barney replied, his voice slurred as he lied next to her, tugging at his tie to loosen it. "What matters right now is what we're going to next. _Do you have any ideas, RoRo?_"

"Maybe you shut up, for starters." Robin murmured, practically tearing off the tie he had been playing with. It was an action so aggressive he couldn't help but love. "I hate your guts."

"And I hate yours."

They both slid out of their clothes quickly, and soon were stripped to their underwear. He extended his arm to brush a stray hair out of her face, and was just about to lean in closer when he jumped, having heard a shrill sound coming from the bedside table behind her.

_Oh bother. Not now. Why now?_

"It's nothing."

Robin leaned away from him to reach for her cell phone and put it on silent, irritated to be disturbed at such a time, and carried on with what she was doing with him, which, truth to be told, was not much, except for the string of both verbal and physical teasing and batting of eyelashes.

Trying to concentrate, her phone buzzed like never before just inches behind her.

"You might want to take that," Barney offered before clearing his throat, as if to cover up the awkwardness between the two of them and what they were about to do. It _was_ awkward after all, with them being neither close friends nor lovers. Did acquaintances do that at all?

"It's not anyone," she insisted, but he looked doubtful, causing her to roll her eyes - something she did so often with him that it had probably become some sort of trademark now - and picked up the phone.

"You know, you roll your eyes a lot," he teased as he watched her unlock her phone with equal senses of urgency and annoyance. She ignored him, which only probed him to continue. "One day your eyes may just get stuck here forever if you keep rolling them upwards. You've got to roll them sideways, downwards, and then to the other side as well." He continued to mock her, mimicking her eye rolls.

"Just... Keep quiet for a minute. Shush." She mumbled, focusing on her phone and not giving him a second glance. "It's Lily."

"Oh!" He feigned surprise. "So you _were_ right. It's nobody, then." He remarked, then flashed another one of his killer smiles, seemingly pleased with his endless capacity of wit.

_God. He was so annoying, even in bed._

**aldrinlily: **Hey homegirl! How are you doing?

**aldrinlily: **Hooked up yet?

**aldrinlily: **'Oh, Lil, I don't know what you're talking about!' You sure do.

**aldrinlily: **Don't be in denial.

**aldrinlily: **Come on, come on, come on! Pick up the damn phone please. I'm bored.

**aldrinlily: **The only excuse you have for not texting me back in under a minute is if you're hooking up with Barney, which I know won't happen in a million years so WHERE ARE YOU?

**aldrinlily: **No! Wait! WAIT!

**aldrinlily: **You're not hooking up with him _right now_, are you? In this case, put the phone down IMMEDIATELY. Do not even read this message. Do not do anything or anyone else but that man in the suit. (Or lack of, since, you know, you don't wear suits in bed.) Have fun!

_Lily. Oh good ol' Lily. Always predicting everything. That itself is getting a little predictable._

Thinking fast, she typed in a reply before hitting 'send' with a sense of satisfaction.

**rscherbatsky: **No! I am reading. Had a long day and put my phone on silent. Sorry. I think I'll go to bed early tonight. Good night!

It _was_ a bad thing to lie to your best friend like this, but what Lily didn't know wouldn't hurt her, would it? Robin had convinced herself it would just be a simple, meaningless hookup and after it was done, nobody would ever speak of that again. So it didn't make sense to tell Lily about it, when she knew that would mean letting Marshall in on the details as well. And if Marshall knew, he would probably tell Ted, who would then have a big lecture about how sleeping with friends was bad practice even though they had done it once, years back.

So right now, if she were to think of everything in the long term, a little lie would be the easiest way out.

**aldrinlily: **You're acting weird. Are you OK?

**rscherbatsky: **I'm fine. Just tired.

**aldrinlily: **Are you texting in the middle of sex? Wait until Marshall hears about this. I've been meaning to try it out for AGES but I didn't have anyone to text. But hey, I've got you now! How does it feel, actually? I'm surprised Barney doesn't mind.

**rscherbatsky: **TMI, Lil! And I am NOT texting while having sex, which is because I am NOT having sex in the first place. How did we ever become friends anyway?

**aldrinlily: **You had sex with Ted that one time, remember?

**rscherbatsky: **Thanks for the reminder, but that was actually just a rhetorical question.

**aldrinlily: **Look, it's fine! Not shameful. Ted's a nice guy. Just... Never mind. I've lost my train of thought. What book are you reading anyway?

Robin sighed. That 'reading' excuse was a bad one. Now Lily was never going to stop with the mass texting, which would mean they'd never get on with their stupid little hookup, which she declared to be stupid, but just could not stand the thought of not experiencing.

**rscherbatsky: **Something by Shakespeare. Wuthering Heights?

She hit 'send' and regretted it instantly, for many reasons. One, she never read Shakespeare. Two, Lily _knew_ that she never read Shakespeare. And three, the fact that Wuthering Heights wasn't even _by_ Shakespeare. She was an awful liar.

"What's taking you so long? I've had dinners with long-lost relatives shorter than your little conversation right there." Barney ragged on, tearing her away from her thoughts.

"It's Lily, and I'm trying to-" Robin started, but stopped herself just in time. '_It's Lily, and I'm trying to make up an excuse of what I'm doing right now because she knew I would be hooking up with you, and I'm trying to prove her wrong or just simply hide the fact because I am constantly in denial' _would just sound a bit off, if she had let the words roll off her tongue. "I'm... Trying to..." She tried again, but gave up on finishing her sentence when she realised she had run out of ideas.

"Just say you're reading or that you're going to bed early," he commented, shrugging, causing her to peer at him suspiciously.

"That was exactly what I wrote. Are you psychic?"

"No, but I can read." He replied coolly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She snapped, agitated.

Barney gestured at her hand and she realised that she had been holding her phone in such a way that he could practically see the whole conversation.

"What's wrong with you!? What _did _you see?" She cried out defensively, holding the phone to her chest as she felt it buzz twice.

"Not a lot."

"Like...?"

"Like the part from 'hey homegirl' to 'I'm reading Shakespeare' - but only that part, don't worry."

"_That's the entire conversation!_" She replied through gritted teeth, feeling her face flush.

Locking her phone quickly before she could further embarrass herself, she was determined to wipe that smug look off his face. "You think you're _so_ great, Mr. Suit and Tie. Just let me be the judge of that."

And with that, Robin swooped in on top of Barney before he had a chance to mutter another syllable, planting kisses all over his face and finally hard on his lips, causing him, nearly, to choke on his own breath at the suddenness of it. When she had sealed the kiss, she put her hands on the sides of his head and stared at him intently. He looked like he was in a daze. He was already panting, but she had no intentions of stopping anytime soon.

He had asked for it.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Once again, I have no excuses... I figured I'm just very bad at posting new chapters on time.**

* * *

"Good morning," Barney mused, humming a little tune to himself as Robin got out of the washroom.

She raised an eyebrow. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Oh! So you're telling me you prefer the rude, sarcastic, annoying version of me? Because I can be that for you too-"

"Nope!" She cut him off before he could continue. "No thanks. I'd like this version, permanently."

"Uh, okay. Well..."

Pouring herself a cup of tea, she settled on the couch beside him. "Well?"

"Well, I really liked what we did last night. And I think we should do that. Repeatedly." He replied casually, before adding, "if you're ok with it, I mean."

She took a sip and made a face. "Why wouldn't I be ok with that?"

"So you _are_ ok with that. Good."

"But why didn't you think I would be ok with that?"

"Nothing, no reason. I was just asking."

"No," she insisted. "Why didn't you think I would be ok with that?"

He paused. "I said no reason."

"But there must be one, or you wouldn't-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. There wasn't a reason. We've got two more days and we _really _need to look around before we go back. You know, not to waste Marshall and Lily's efforts."

As those words were spoken, Robin nearly choked on her tea.

"_You_? Coming from _you_? You want to visit Canada?" Putting her cup down, she extended her arm and placed a palm onto his forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling ok? That flu you had must've been pretty strong to completely overwrite the stuff in your brain."

He swatted her hand away with impatience. "I'm still fine, don't you worry. I just... Like I said, I don't want to waste their efforts, you know?"

She laughed in his face. "I have a feeling 'I don't want to waste their efforts'-" she teased, drawing air quotations with her fingers, "is just an excuse you made up in attempt to try and hide your true feelings about Canada."

"Actually, I was just trying to be nice to you, since last night was great and I thought I could repay you somehow, if... If that's the way to put it." He rolled his eyes, which only caused her to laugh even harder.

"You're rolling your eyes now. I swear, you're becoming like me. The whole 'let's go see Canada! But wait, I need to roll my eyes first' thing. Just... Just one night, and you've turned into me. Are personalities contagious via sex? Um, yup they are."

"I'm glad you've finally realised you roll your eyes a lot and have a abnormal amount of love towards Canada."

"Well, I have neither confirmed nor denied those things," she shrugged. "So are we seeing Canada or not?"

"That's what I've been trying to suggest for the past five minutes!"

Ignoring his remark, she continued. "Come on, let's get going. But first, we're going to get ourselves some Timmy Ho's first. The tea here is atrocious."

* * *

"Look, I know what I'm doing. The question is, do you?" Robin laughed as she zoomed past Barney on a rented bicycle while he stumbled to balance. They were cycling along the waterfront, or at least she was. She had thought he was joking when he had sheepishly mumbled that he had no idea how to cycle, but it had turned out he wasn't.

He didn't understand how anyone would be able to ride a bicycle. It was like trying to balance the side of a coin on a bumpy surface. In other words, impossible.

"I can't believe you don't know how to ride a bike," she commented as she slowed to a stop, allowing him to catch up to her. "I've mastered that at the age of seven."

"Yeah, that's because you live in Canada. Nobody in New York commutes on two wheels." He puffed, rolling his eyes.

"You'll get there eventually. Just keep pedalling." To his surprise, she softened, giving him a pat on the back as he finally showed up by her side after a round of struggling.

He frowned. "I am."

"And I know you are. Come on, catch me!" Giving him a nudge on the side, she got her feet back on the pedals and raced off, breeze caught in her hair. She didn't understand how anyone would not be able to ride a bicycle. It was simple. You put your legs in position and you pedal like hell. You fall down and it hurts, but you learn. It was fun and you didn't have to stop for gas. What's not to like about all of that?

Giddy and giggly from the speed, she dashed ahead, determined to leave him behind for a while. It was nice being back in Canada. The people were nicer, the Sun shone brighter and she felt more at ease. Turning around to tell him she was going to come back and get him after, she found him flailing clumsily, not knowing which direction to head towards nor what to do with his feet. She'd be quite heartless to leave him alone like that. Sighing, she made a U-turn and went back to where he was.

"Okay, Barney. Let's get you going."

"Huh?" He looked up, confused.

"I mean, let's stop being stubborn and let me help you... Please? It won't take long. It's just not fun to always have to wait up for a physically crippled man trying to cycle in a suit, you know?" She shrugged, getting off her bike and walking towards his.

"You always seem to be able to throw in an insult or two in there. Good job."

"Thanks."

"That wasn't a compliment," he retorted.

"You know what? Let's get on with your cycling lesson. You can thank me later by treating me to ice cream at Niagara Falls later."

* * *

Robin was right; it didn't take long for Barney to learn how to cycle. Grateful he had finally got the hang of balancing on two wheels, he felt the real thrill of riding a bicycle speeding down the lane. The wind against his skin felt like a cool silky cloth and he felt his senses prickle as he took in the smell of fresh cut grass.

_Maybe cycling isn't that bad_, he thought, turning to catch a glimpse of Robin, who was cycling at the same speed as he was. He wasn't sure what she was to him, still. He wanted to tell himself she was a good friend now, but would that be overdoing it? And if 'good friend' was a title that was overdone, wouldn't anything more be a scandal? He had only ever thought of her as an acquaintance that he loved to mock and muck about with before, but lately he had been thinking about more. Lately, he had been wanting more.

It was weird, feeling like that. Barney felt as though he was meant to hate her even more during the course of this trip. He was meant to oppose Marshall and Lily's wish of them becoming friends. His initial plan was to try and survive those five days and go back to normal life immediately, which meant sitting at the bar and pulling faces every time Robin opened her mouth to speak. Having a lovely day spent cycling with Robin was not part of the plan. Nor were the growing feelings of fondness he had for her.

Focusing on the cycling lane once again, he shook his head to clear his mind.

It was silly of him to over think. He probably wasn't her type of guy anyway.


End file.
